Fear

He was left behind from the group he a was dreamt of being a part of. At the edge of winning over his fear he just surrendered to it. At that very moment he decided not to run through this cave in Ankur-wat it was all done. All the courage he built up so far in the journey of this race group was shattered to pieces. He also went to the extent of thinking the other three people in the group might also be feared and that is the reason why all of them voted to run through the scary places instead of going through them slowly and sticking together. They had decided to run through this scary cave of Ankur wat at 3 o clock in the midnight as to achieve their milestone tenth scary run. Though they have tried the other places as he suggested, slow and steady sticking together, it was never alone like today.

It was a year before, yet another drunken conversation in the hostels rooms of Harvard. He finally said those words “Lets fucking do this, lets conquer the fear which is the stopping people and be an example” as a conclusion of their 2-hour long discussion. May be lectures they heard the other day in the college would have provoked him to say those words. As the professor said “so, the only way to win over fear is to walk through it instead of avoiding it” the whole class room whooped! Maybe, he would not have made that assertive statement if he had known that he had to do this one day.

Finally, after an hour of retrospective thinking of what just happened he came to a point in looking somewhere else rather than darkness.  The very act of looking to his halogen compass for direction reminded him of his beliefs about darkness. It was just the absence of light. He decided to break through his fear the way he wanted. He took out his flag and started walking through the cave with his head lights off. It was total darkness. Apart from his halogen compass which said which direction to move he had no clue how long it’s going to take him and what is going to come along the way. He was very proud of his very higher he who had stopped him from talking final leap of run half an hour ago now allowing him to go for it. Because he knew that very thing that stops you from doing things is the same thing that provokes to do it. so, keeping it in harmony would give him enough strength in doing almost anything. Despite knowing that if he had stayed more than an hour at the same place the group would come searching for him as it beeps in the stay connect app, he decided to move on with his dried-out batteries of head lights. He knew that tomorrow is never going to be the same, and what he does now is going to be history. 

- Sid